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Here's a rundown of the major movie roles Piper has had, provided by our resident film critic, Andrew Manning... VIOLET/JERSEY COYOTE UGLY In this Felicity meets Cocktail parade of tight womanly flesh, Piper plays Violet, a young girl who wants to make it in the big city. Like Jennifer Love Hewitt in the short-lived Time of Your Life, she's not really ready for life in the fast lane, so the city's about to chew her up and spit her out. But then the city (and everyone else) notices, "Whoa, she's a hottie." So she instantly gets set up with a job at a local bar called "Coyote Ugly," where men hand her their wallets while they gawk at her ass. "Violet" apparently isn't a hip enough name, so her boss renames her "Jersey." I sort of like that casual attitude. "Hey, you! Your name is JERSEY now." Anyhow, Jersey is girl-next-doorish and oh-so-spunky. She's the nice type, and probably the best character in the movie. AGENT KAREN SYMPATHY THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE In this update of the 1960s cartoon, Piper gets to play an FBI agent who assists Rocky and Bullwinkle thwart the evil plans of Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader. If you really think about it, it's sort of hard to believe that she's an FBI agent, because she looks so young (and tender). But nothing in this movie is very serious, so you sort of brush it aside, just like you can accept Denise Richards as nuclear munitions expert Dr. Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough. Unlike Jersey, Agent Sympathy doesn't flash the slightest bit of flesh, but Piper is cool in this movie, and is saucy in an uptight, Dana Scully sort of way. However, Karen Sympathy shares the spunk factor of Jersey, and is muy spunky. SARA WHITEBOYZ In this small indie film that barely anyone knew about, a bunch of white boys from Iowa have aspirations of becoming gangsta rappers and dealing drugs. Leading the group of wannabes is "Flip Dawg" (Danny Hoch). The only thing really going for Flip is his girlfriend Sara (played by Piper), but like a dumbass, he neglects her so he can work on his "career" with his loser friends. Piper isn't in this movie much, so we don't get to know Sara all that well. We do know, however, that she's the typical small town dreamer with a steady but boring job who is shackled to a dork. Sara is cute, but she is not as spunky as Jersey or Karen. Okay, now that I'm done talking about characters like they were real people, I need a sandwich. -AM
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